00:00:01,574 --> 00:00:03,567
My name is RJ Berger.

2
00:00:03,601 --> 00:00:05,903
Nature made me scrawny
and weird-looking,

3
00:00:05,937 --> 00:00:07,805
Awkward and pale.

4
00:00:07,839 --> 00:00:09,673
Nature did a lot of things,

5
00:00:09,707 --> 00:00:12,841
But I'm not about to roll over
and be nature's bitch.

6
00:00:12,875 --> 00:00:16,909
I'm gonna beat it.

7
00:00:16,943 --> 00:00:19,611
Beat the fact that I have more
pairs of glasses than friends.

8
00:00:19,646 --> 00:00:21,780
Beat the fact
that I was born to lose.

9
00:00:21,814 --> 00:00:23,748
Oh, ride the dragon.

10
00:00:23,783 --> 00:00:26,351
Oh, ride the dragon.
Ride the dragon.

11
00:00:26,385 --> 00:00:28,119
[muttering]

12
00:00:28,153 --> 00:00:29,887
Ride the dragon.

13
00:00:29,921 --> 00:00:31,621
Oh, yeah.
God.

14
00:00:31,656 --> 00:00:32,956
Oh, yeah.

15
00:00:32,990 --> 00:00:36,325
Hey, it's almost 7:00.

16
00:00:36,360 --> 00:00:39,361
Move that sweet little tuchus.

17
00:00:39,396 --> 00:00:41,363
* hello *

18
00:00:41,397 --> 00:00:46,000
[breathing heavily]

19
00:00:46,034 --> 00:00:47,735
RJ, are you okay?

20
00:00:47,769 --> 00:00:48,902
Fine.

21
00:00:48,937 --> 00:00:50,070
Are you crying?

22
00:00:50,104 --> 00:00:51,371
No.

23
00:00:51,406 --> 00:00:53,106
RJ, look at me.
Is something wrong?

24
00:00:53,140 --> 00:00:55,074
No. Can you just give me
another minute, please?

25
00:00:55,108 --> 00:01:00,378
I gave you a minute
15 minutes ago.

26
00:01:00,413 --> 00:01:04,282
Oh!

27
00:01:04,316 --> 00:01:06,717
Forgive me.

28
00:01:06,751 --> 00:01:08,385
[sighs]

29
00:01:08,419 --> 00:01:10,720
[dragon roars]

30
00:01:10,755 --> 00:01:13,723
[hard rock music]

31
00:01:13,757 --> 00:01:14,724
* hey *

32
00:01:14,758 --> 00:01:16,859
[bell rings]

33
00:01:20,431 --> 00:01:23,133
- O-p-p.
"objective, plan, perform."

34
00:01:23,167 --> 00:01:24,801
Our objective is clear.

35
00:01:24,836 --> 00:01:26,336
Get people to like us.

36
00:01:26,370 --> 00:01:29,804
Especially hot chicks
with low self-esteem.

37
00:01:29,838 --> 00:01:31,338
Our plan?

38
00:01:31,373 --> 00:01:33,206
Infiltrate the beauty mob
and charm them

39
00:01:33,241 --> 00:01:35,909
With our easy-going
awesomeness.

40
00:01:35,943 --> 00:01:38,144
Now all we got to do is--

41
00:01:38,178 --> 00:01:39,945
Dude.

42
00:01:39,980 --> 00:01:41,914
Dude, I'm trying to document
our rise to greatness.

43
00:01:41,948 --> 00:01:44,050
Are you paying attention?

44
00:01:44,084 --> 00:01:47,853
Jenny...Swanson.

45
00:01:47,887 --> 00:01:50,855
[breezy acoustic pop]

46
00:01:50,890 --> 00:01:52,490
* *

47
00:01:56,094 --> 00:01:58,228
Be still, my beating balls.
[Sighs]

48
00:01:58,262 --> 00:01:59,996
It's weird, you know?
I know.

49
00:02:00,030 --> 00:02:01,364
Every year, you think she...

50
00:02:01,398 --> 00:02:05,166
Both: Can't get any hotter.

51
00:02:05,201 --> 00:02:07,401
Friday night's supposed
to be, like, insane.

52
00:02:07,436 --> 00:02:08,969
Swanson's pool party?

53
00:02:09,003 --> 00:02:11,204
Dude, it's the soiree
of the semester.

54
00:02:11,238 --> 00:02:14,273
I'm talking Robin Pretnar
in a bikini, okay?

55
00:02:14,308 --> 00:02:16,275
Bong rips and nip slips!

56
00:02:16,310 --> 00:02:18,444
It's the key to kicking off
our big year.

57
00:02:18,478 --> 00:02:22,714
That's one guest list
I don't think we're on.

58
00:02:22,749 --> 00:02:23,849
Robin Pretnar.

59
00:02:23,883 --> 00:02:26,452
Dude, I'd murder
everyone I love

60
00:02:26,486 --> 00:02:29,688
For one glimpse
of those pepperonis.

61
00:02:29,723 --> 00:02:31,323
'sup, whores?

62
00:02:31,358 --> 00:02:33,059
Guess what's happening today.

63
00:02:33,093 --> 00:02:34,927
You're taking a weed whacker
to that mustache?

64
00:02:34,962 --> 00:02:36,395
[mocking laugh]

65
00:02:36,429 --> 00:02:38,830
Lipski's posting sophomore
study buddies.

66
00:02:38,864 --> 00:02:40,264
So?

67
00:02:40,299 --> 00:02:42,033
So perhaps I arranged
to be buddies

68
00:02:42,067 --> 00:02:43,734
With a certain someone.

69
00:02:43,768 --> 00:02:47,070
You know, for all those
late-night cramming sessions?

70
00:02:47,105 --> 00:02:49,472
Lily, why are you so eager
to ruin this friendship?

71
00:02:49,507 --> 00:02:52,408
Why are you so afraid
to ruin my sheets?

72
00:02:52,442 --> 00:02:54,710
Lily, if he wanted
to [bleep] a dog,

73
00:02:54,744 --> 00:02:55,711
He'd just go to amsterdam.

74
00:02:55,745 --> 00:02:57,712
Shut up, miles.

75
00:02:57,747 --> 00:03:00,882
I thought about you
this morning, RJ.

76
00:03:00,916 --> 00:03:06,853
[excited moaning]

77
00:03:06,887 --> 00:03:09,022
About our kiss
on the playground.

78
00:03:09,056 --> 00:03:10,990
That was in kindergarten,
Lily.

79
00:03:11,024 --> 00:03:12,324
Back when you weren't

80
00:03:12,359 --> 00:03:14,093
The only flat-chested girl
in our grade.

81
00:03:14,127 --> 00:03:15,861
- Just because you
have bigger tits--

82
00:03:15,895 --> 00:03:16,862
[gong crashes]

83
00:03:16,896 --> 00:03:21,165
[pan flute plays]

84
00:03:21,200 --> 00:03:25,402
[speaking Japanese]

85
00:03:27,271 --> 00:03:28,438
There!
That's what I'm talking about!

86
00:03:28,472 --> 00:03:30,039
What?

87
00:03:30,074 --> 00:03:31,507
Dude, Natsumi Taniko
just looked at you

88
00:03:31,542 --> 00:03:33,209
Like you burned down her dojo.

89
00:03:33,243 --> 00:03:34,910
That's, like, the 15th time
she's done that.

90
00:03:34,944 --> 00:03:37,345
Did I tell you I have
a date with raven on Friday?

91
00:03:37,379 --> 00:03:39,180
Wait.
Wait, I'm sorry.

92
00:03:39,214 --> 00:03:43,417
You're going out with
the dark knight?

93
00:03:43,451 --> 00:03:46,218
That kid is like five feet
of pure columbine.

94
00:03:46,253 --> 00:03:47,520
Jealous?

95
00:03:47,554 --> 00:03:49,221
What, is he taking you
to the cemetery?

96
00:03:49,256 --> 00:03:51,190
You guys gonna drink
some absinthe?

97
00:03:51,224 --> 00:03:53,191
Maybe read from
the twilight books?

98
00:03:53,225 --> 00:03:58,163
Actually, he's taking me to
Jenny Swanson's party, assholes.

99
00:03:58,197 --> 00:04:01,032
And I wouldn't have
to slum it with freshman goths

100
00:04:01,066 --> 00:04:05,435
If you would just man up
and take my offer, RJ.

101
00:04:05,469 --> 00:04:08,937
Any time, any place...

102
00:04:08,971 --> 00:04:12,242
Any orifice.

103
00:04:23,954 --> 00:04:25,421
Oh, dude.

104
00:04:25,455 --> 00:04:29,891
Max Owens just gunned down your
boner in cold blood.

105
00:04:29,925 --> 00:04:31,592
What a choad.

106
00:04:41,535 --> 00:04:44,003
Hey, it's lipski's
buddy list.

107
00:04:44,037 --> 00:04:45,170
I hope I got someone good.

108
00:04:45,205 --> 00:04:46,371
- Excuse me.
Can I--

109
00:04:46,405 --> 00:04:47,972
Can I--
excuse me.

110
00:04:48,007 --> 00:04:49,540
Can I--

111
00:04:49,575 --> 00:04:51,275
- Coming through!
Look out!

112
00:04:51,310 --> 00:04:54,145
Move!

113
00:04:54,179 --> 00:04:55,946
Hey!

114
00:04:55,981 --> 00:04:58,549
Jake Dunbar and Alexina Kors.

115
00:04:58,583 --> 00:05:01,251
Brendan jacoby
and Miranda meyer.

116
00:05:01,285 --> 00:05:06,055
RJ Berger and...

117
00:05:06,089 --> 00:05:08,323
Jenny Swanson?

118
00:05:08,358 --> 00:05:10,058
What the [bleep]?

119
00:05:10,092 --> 00:05:13,360
[growls]

120
00:05:18,131 --> 00:05:21,099
[alala by cansei de ser sexy]

121
00:05:21,133 --> 00:05:22,733
* *

122
00:05:31,510 --> 00:05:33,478
- * a-la-la a-la-la *

123
00:05:33,512 --> 00:05:35,346
* give me three wishes *

124
00:05:35,381 --> 00:05:37,081
* I want to be
the dirty finger *

125
00:05:37,115 --> 00:05:38,615
* and his six bitches *

126
00:05:38,650 --> 00:05:40,284
* a-la-la a-la-la *

127
00:05:40,318 --> 00:05:42,319
* give me more too *

128
00:05:42,353 --> 00:05:45,121
* I want to be
in that crazy band *

129
00:05:45,155 --> 00:05:49,258
You're dragon awaits,
my lady.

130
00:05:49,293 --> 00:05:50,626
[song stops]

131
00:05:50,660 --> 00:05:54,429
Email me so I have yours.

132
00:05:59,668 --> 00:06:01,335
[laughter]

133
00:06:01,369 --> 00:06:04,204
[motor boating]

134
00:06:04,238 --> 00:06:05,338
[barking]

135
00:06:05,372 --> 00:06:08,074
That's what she's doing!

136
00:06:08,108 --> 00:06:09,909
You gonna eat
that last piece, son?

137
00:06:09,943 --> 00:06:11,644
No, thanks.
I'm pretty full.

138
00:06:11,678 --> 00:06:13,612
Oh, what about you, bill?
Last piece?

139
00:06:13,647 --> 00:06:15,648
Oh, better save
some room, Rick.

140
00:06:15,682 --> 00:06:17,550
Something tells me
I'm gonna be doing

141
00:06:17,584 --> 00:06:19,385
A lot of eating tonight.

142
00:06:19,419 --> 00:06:21,120
Ain't that right, Suze?

143
00:06:21,154 --> 00:06:25,489
[laughter]

144
00:06:25,524 --> 00:06:28,125
As long as you don't spoil
your appetite, honey,

145
00:06:28,160 --> 00:06:30,227
'cause I brought
your favorite dessert.

146
00:06:30,261 --> 00:06:31,995
Oh, I'll make room.
I'll make room.

147
00:06:32,030 --> 00:06:34,599
Oh, you bring enough for two?

148
00:06:34,633 --> 00:06:36,301
Or three?

149
00:06:36,335 --> 00:06:37,669
Oh!
[laughter]

150
00:06:37,703 --> 00:06:38,670
Three!

151
00:06:38,704 --> 00:06:40,939
Four!

152
00:06:40,973 --> 00:06:43,474
All: Nom, nom, nom, nom, nom,
nom, nom, nom, nom, nom!

153
00:06:43,509 --> 00:06:45,410
The buffet is open!

154
00:06:45,444 --> 00:06:46,643
[mocking laugh]

155
00:06:46,677 --> 00:06:49,308
You know, it's so funny,

156
00:06:49,343 --> 00:06:53,572
Because you're talking
about Linda's vagina.

157
00:06:53,607 --> 00:06:55,506
Ahem.

158
00:06:58,510 --> 00:07:01,344
I'm gonna go do drugs.

159
00:07:05,349 --> 00:07:10,952
I walked in on him
masturbating this morning.

160
00:07:10,986 --> 00:07:12,387
God bless him.

161
00:07:12,421 --> 00:07:15,356
He had his lotion
and his tissue all laid out.

162
00:07:15,390 --> 00:07:18,558
Just yesterday,
he was a baby in my arms.

163
00:07:18,592 --> 00:07:20,993
Now he's playing
with his baby arm!

164
00:07:21,028 --> 00:07:23,262
[laughter]

165
00:07:23,296 --> 00:07:25,330
- Oh, that's a--
oh, that's good.

166
00:07:25,365 --> 00:07:29,167
[overlapping chatter]

167
00:07:29,201 --> 00:07:30,935
* day and night *

168
00:07:30,969 --> 00:07:33,237
* I toss and turn
I keep stressing my mind *

169
00:07:33,271 --> 00:07:36,273
[muffled excited
moaning and yelling]

170
00:07:40,177 --> 00:07:42,978
God, it's so warm!

171
00:07:43,012 --> 00:07:46,014
[excited moaning]

172
00:07:47,144 --> 00:07:50,247
[cheering]

173
00:07:50,281 --> 00:07:51,615
[whistle blows]

174
00:07:51,649 --> 00:07:54,617
[rap music plays]

175
00:07:54,652 --> 00:07:58,287
[indistinct rapping]

176
00:07:59,021 --> 00:08:02,056
- Yay!
- Whoo!

177
00:08:02,091 --> 00:08:05,927
I love you, RJ!

178
00:08:05,961 --> 00:08:08,596
* *

179
00:08:08,631 --> 00:08:09,964
- [grunts]
- [Whistle blows]

180
00:08:09,998 --> 00:08:11,399
[crowd booing]

181
00:08:11,433 --> 00:08:12,900
What the [bleep], man?

182
00:08:12,935 --> 00:08:14,835
Hey, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa!

183
00:08:14,870 --> 00:08:16,604
- What the hell's your problem?
- [Bleep]'s your problem?

184
00:08:16,638 --> 00:08:17,938
Oh!

185
00:08:17,972 --> 00:08:21,908
Damn it, Patterson.

186
00:08:21,942 --> 00:08:26,579
[whistle blows]

187
00:08:26,613 --> 00:08:28,214
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa.

188
00:08:28,249 --> 00:08:30,549
Ejections are as follows:

189
00:08:30,584 --> 00:08:33,851
Canton, number 22, number 30.

190
00:08:33,886 --> 00:08:39,023
Pinkerton, number 21, number 18,
number 24, and number 6.

191
00:08:39,057 --> 00:08:40,357
Whoa, whoa, whoa!

192
00:08:40,391 --> 00:08:42,191
I don't have enough subs
to cover that.

193
00:08:42,226 --> 00:08:43,994
That leaves me
with four players!

194
00:08:44,029 --> 00:08:46,997
Then I guess you'll
have to forfeit.

195
00:08:47,031 --> 00:08:49,166
God damn it!

196
00:08:51,503 --> 00:08:54,504
Berger!

197
00:08:54,538 --> 00:08:56,539
Get over here.

198
00:08:59,910 --> 00:09:01,477
Please don't make me
mop up any more blood.

199
00:09:01,512 --> 00:09:02,578
Go put on a uniform.

200
00:09:02,612 --> 00:09:04,880
I don't even know how to play.

201
00:09:04,914 --> 00:09:06,280
God damn it, Berger!

202
00:09:06,314 --> 00:09:08,181
You go put on a uniform
or our deal is off.

203
00:09:08,216 --> 00:09:10,250
No more skipping gym.

204
00:09:10,284 --> 00:09:11,985
Now hustle.

205
00:09:15,956 --> 00:09:17,889
God have mercy on us.

206
00:09:17,923 --> 00:09:20,890
[rock music]

207
00:09:20,924 --> 00:09:22,524
* *

208
00:09:36,571 --> 00:09:39,408
Now you listen to me.

209
00:09:39,442 --> 00:09:41,175
We are one basket away
from upsetting

210
00:09:41,210 --> 00:09:43,010
These undefeated pricks.

211
00:09:43,044 --> 00:09:46,679
All you got to do is stay out
of the way for 21 seconds.

212
00:09:46,713 --> 00:09:49,148
So just keep your little
toothpick arms down

213
00:09:49,183 --> 00:09:50,316
And lock your feet in place.

214
00:09:50,350 --> 00:09:52,150
You got it?

215
00:09:52,184 --> 00:09:54,152
- Yeah, okay.
- Good.

216
00:09:54,186 --> 00:09:55,519
Good.

217
00:09:55,554 --> 00:09:57,621
'cause if you bone this
cocker spaniel,

218
00:09:57,656 --> 00:09:59,256
So help me,
I'll choke you to death

219
00:09:59,290 --> 00:10:02,992
In front of all these people.

220
00:10:03,026 --> 00:10:04,226
- All right.
- Okay.

221
00:10:04,261 --> 00:10:06,061
- I'll do my best.
- Good.

222
00:10:06,095 --> 00:10:09,063
Good.
Go get 'em.

223
00:10:09,098 --> 00:10:11,198
[cheering]

224
00:10:11,233 --> 00:10:13,434
Get 'em, bro!
Get 'em!

225
00:10:16,136 --> 00:10:17,536
- Get your ass--

226
00:10:17,571 --> 00:10:22,407
- Hey, let's go, pirates!

227
00:10:22,442 --> 00:10:25,109
That's how a man smells,
bitch.

228
00:10:25,144 --> 00:10:28,712
[chuckles]

229
00:10:28,746 --> 00:10:30,380
[whistle blows]

230
00:10:43,458 --> 00:10:46,692
[sound becomes muffled]

231
00:10:46,726 --> 00:10:49,694
[suspenseful and inspiring
music]

232
00:10:49,729 --> 00:10:51,329
* *

233
00:10:55,568 --> 00:10:59,436
[heart beating]

234
00:10:59,470 --> 00:11:01,070
* *

235
00:11:20,155 --> 00:11:21,622
[buzzer]

236
00:11:21,656 --> 00:11:23,090
Dang!

237
00:11:23,124 --> 00:11:24,491
[crowd awws]

238
00:11:24,526 --> 00:11:28,995
[laughter]

239
00:11:29,029 --> 00:11:30,262
Oh, no.

240
00:11:30,297 --> 00:11:31,563
It's okay.

241
00:11:31,598 --> 00:11:33,532
At least he's got his
jockstrap--

242
00:11:33,566 --> 00:11:35,367
[crowd gasps]

243
00:11:35,401 --> 00:11:38,102
It's a God damn buick regal.

244
00:11:38,136 --> 00:11:39,703
[indistinct chatter]

245
00:11:39,738 --> 00:11:41,205
Freaking tripod.

246
00:11:41,239 --> 00:11:43,673
[speaking Japanese]

247
00:11:43,707 --> 00:11:45,708
We are saved.

248
00:11:45,742 --> 00:11:47,575
I'm soaked.

249
00:11:47,610 --> 00:11:50,144
[bleep] me.

250
00:11:50,211 --> 00:11:51,645
You asshole!

251
00:11:51,679 --> 00:11:53,212
I can't believe
you never told me.

252
00:11:53,768 --> 00:11:56,207
Here I am looking
for our golden ticket.

253
00:11:56,497 --> 00:11:58,098
It's been draped over your balls
this whole time.

254
00:11:58,132 --> 00:11:58,551
- Miles--

255
00:11:58,752 --> 00:11:59,852
- Let me see that beautiful
bastard.

256
00:11:59,886 --> 00:12:01,587
I want to kiss it.

257
00:12:01,621 --> 00:12:02,654
- Miles, come on, man.
- Just the tip, all right?

258
00:12:02,689 --> 00:12:03,655
Just like this.
Totally non-gay.

259
00:12:03,689 --> 00:12:06,156
Miles!

260
00:12:06,191 --> 00:12:08,058
It's a curse, dude.

261
00:12:08,092 --> 00:12:10,493
What are you
talking about curse?

262
00:12:10,527 --> 00:12:13,128
Okay, fine.

263
00:12:13,162 --> 00:12:15,497
Do you want to know
why Natsumi Taniko

264
00:12:15,532 --> 00:12:16,732
Freaks every time she sees me?

265
00:12:16,766 --> 00:12:18,366
Yeah.

266
00:12:21,770 --> 00:12:24,037
Last summer, remember
when I tutored her in English?

267
00:12:24,072 --> 00:12:27,640
- Mm-hmm.

268
00:12:27,675 --> 00:12:31,143
Well, she was, like,
the first normal girl

269
00:12:31,177 --> 00:12:35,981
Who ever saw me
like I was a normal guy.

270
00:12:36,015 --> 00:12:38,449
Mmm.

271
00:12:38,484 --> 00:12:42,820
You're a dope frencher.

272
00:12:42,855 --> 00:12:44,822
[chuckles] I know.

273
00:12:44,856 --> 00:12:46,824
Um...
[chuckles]

274
00:12:46,858 --> 00:12:48,858
My boner just got
all hard and--

275
00:12:48,893 --> 00:12:50,526
- [giggles]

276
00:12:50,561 --> 00:12:51,527
[gasps]

277
00:12:51,561 --> 00:12:52,794
Oh, what?

278
00:13:01,235 --> 00:13:02,868
Oh.
Oh, yeah.

279
00:13:02,902 --> 00:13:04,803
[gags and chokes]

280
00:13:04,837 --> 00:13:07,238
Natsumi, are you okay?
Natsumi!

281
00:13:07,272 --> 00:13:08,973
Are you choking?

282
00:13:09,008 --> 00:13:12,109
Natsumi!

283
00:13:12,785 --> 00:13:14,719
Wait.
Wait. Wait.

284
00:13:14,754 --> 00:13:16,788
That's why you kept
it a secret?

285
00:13:16,822 --> 00:13:19,156
I almost killed her, dude.

286
00:13:19,191 --> 00:13:21,258
It was an accident, RJ.

287
00:13:21,292 --> 00:13:22,826
The Japanese mouth
isn't designed to handle

288
00:13:22,860 --> 00:13:24,361
That kind of size.

289
00:13:24,395 --> 00:13:26,662
You see those little
egg rolls they eat?

290
00:13:26,696 --> 00:13:29,464
She wasn't ready for an American
foot-long hot dog.

291
00:13:29,498 --> 00:13:33,367
Dude, you have something
that every guy in school

292
00:13:33,401 --> 00:13:35,268
Would kill for.

293
00:13:35,303 --> 00:13:37,737
Okay, that may be,

294
00:13:37,771 --> 00:13:40,272
But they'd still always
find a way to tear me down.

295
00:13:40,307 --> 00:13:43,442
And who's always there
to pick you up, huh?

296
00:13:43,476 --> 00:13:44,809
Who's the only one
who showed up to Shakey's

297
00:13:44,843 --> 00:13:46,678
On your seventh birthday?

298
00:13:46,712 --> 00:13:48,546
Who's the only one
who [bleep] in the ball pit?

299
00:13:48,580 --> 00:13:50,614
That could have been anybody.

300
00:13:50,649 --> 00:13:53,483
Miles, they're gonna
destroy me.

301
00:13:53,518 --> 00:13:56,885
Maybe they will
and maybe they won't.

302
00:13:56,920 --> 00:13:59,921
But at least they'll
be paying attention.

303
00:14:02,590 --> 00:14:05,558
[rap music]

304
00:14:05,593 --> 00:14:07,927
* let me break it down
for you *

305
00:14:07,961 --> 00:14:10,229
* get a little loud for you *

306
00:14:10,263 --> 00:14:12,397
* shake the city
shake the city *

307
00:14:12,431 --> 00:14:14,332
Oh, wow.

308
00:14:14,367 --> 00:14:17,770
This is...Beautiful.

309
00:14:17,804 --> 00:14:19,304
We deserve this, right?

310
00:14:19,339 --> 00:14:20,872
- We so deserve this.
- We deserve this.

311
00:14:20,906 --> 00:14:23,341
This is, like,
out of a young jeezy video.

312
00:14:23,376 --> 00:14:24,744
Yeah.

313
00:14:24,778 --> 00:14:27,746
Okay, hands in.

314
00:14:27,781 --> 00:14:29,814
Okay.

315
00:14:29,849 --> 00:14:31,949
Who invited those losers?

316
00:14:31,983 --> 00:14:34,484
All right.
All right.

317
00:14:34,518 --> 00:14:36,952
"easy-going awesomeness,"
on three.

318
00:14:36,986 --> 00:14:38,653
All right.
One, two...

319
00:14:38,688 --> 00:14:39,954
Both: Easy-going awesomeness.

320
00:14:39,989 --> 00:14:41,756
Okay, let's mingle, mingle.

321
00:14:41,790 --> 00:14:43,190
Okay.

322
00:14:43,224 --> 00:14:46,627
Play it cool.
Play cool.

323
00:14:46,661 --> 00:14:49,565
My whores made it!

324
00:14:49,599 --> 00:14:55,369
RJ, looking good.

325
00:14:55,404 --> 00:14:58,372
[inspiring music]

326
00:14:58,406 --> 00:15:00,006
* *

327
00:15:12,917 --> 00:15:15,451
So, Berger...

328
00:15:15,485 --> 00:15:18,889
You ready to grab destiny
by the balls?

329
00:15:18,923 --> 00:15:22,291
[giggling]

330
00:15:22,326 --> 00:15:25,893
So then I'm like,
"it's just my pinky."

331
00:15:25,928 --> 00:15:27,862
You get it?

332
00:15:27,896 --> 00:15:30,631
The pinky?

333
00:15:30,665 --> 00:15:33,603
Cold.

334
00:15:33,637 --> 00:15:35,438
Hot.

335
00:15:35,473 --> 00:15:36,940
But still a diss.

336
00:15:36,974 --> 00:15:39,374
Dude, we are striking out.
Oh, my God.

337
00:15:39,408 --> 00:15:41,308
Is that sparkling malt liquor?

338
00:15:41,343 --> 00:15:43,644
Robin, hey.
Yeah.

339
00:15:43,678 --> 00:15:48,915
I love sparkling malt liquor.

340
00:15:48,949 --> 00:15:53,985
You are so adorable,
Robin Pretnar.

341
00:15:54,019 --> 00:15:56,554
You're like a little meerkat...

342
00:15:56,588 --> 00:15:58,755
With boobies.

343
00:15:58,790 --> 00:15:59,890
[retching]

344
00:15:59,924 --> 00:16:01,925
- Oh!
Uh-oh!

345
00:16:01,959 --> 00:16:05,661
Shh! Shh!
Ooh! Ooh! Shh!

346
00:16:05,696 --> 00:16:07,029
Okay.
Okay.

347
00:16:07,063 --> 00:16:08,564
It's okay.

348
00:16:08,598 --> 00:16:11,900
No one saw that.
No one saw that.

349
00:16:11,934 --> 00:16:15,036
Not gonna let that
kill our vibe, are we?

350
00:16:18,540 --> 00:16:20,541
Ugh.

351
00:16:25,046 --> 00:16:26,813
- Is it stuck?
- No.

352
00:16:26,847 --> 00:16:28,514
I'm just a weakling.

353
00:16:28,548 --> 00:16:30,682
One of the drawbacks
of being little, I guess.

354
00:16:30,717 --> 00:16:32,784
Yeah.

355
00:16:32,819 --> 00:16:37,488
Maybe I can help.

356
00:16:37,522 --> 00:16:39,556
That is really--
- [Giggles]

357
00:16:39,591 --> 00:16:40,657
That is really stuck
right there.

358
00:16:40,692 --> 00:16:42,059
Yeah.

359
00:16:42,093 --> 00:16:45,561
Hey, you're RJ Berger, right?

360
00:16:45,596 --> 00:16:47,763
Why, yes, I am.

361
00:16:47,797 --> 00:16:51,433
Maybe you should try pushing
with your [bleep].

362
00:16:58,506 --> 00:17:01,507
So the big lipski test?

363
00:17:04,945 --> 00:17:06,712
Bio's my worst subject.

364
00:17:06,746 --> 00:17:08,913
I could really use the grade
to make honors,

365
00:17:08,947 --> 00:17:11,649
So I'm counting on you,
study buddy.

366
00:17:11,683 --> 00:17:14,084
[mumbling]

367
00:17:14,118 --> 00:17:17,854
I mean...
[bleep]ing lipski.

368
00:17:24,060 --> 00:17:25,493
Wait.

369
00:17:25,528 --> 00:17:27,762
Lipski's test.

370
00:17:27,796 --> 00:17:33,033
Yes, I would love
to study you--with you.

371
00:17:33,068 --> 00:17:35,736
Biology's actually, like,
one of my best subjects

372
00:17:35,770 --> 00:17:39,872
And I can name, like,
six different types of zygotes

373
00:17:39,907 --> 00:17:41,374
Off the top of my head
right now.

374
00:17:41,408 --> 00:17:44,076
But I'm not going to.

375
00:17:44,110 --> 00:17:46,745
Great.

376
00:17:46,779 --> 00:17:48,046
[chuckles]

377
00:17:48,080 --> 00:17:50,428
Well, you have my email.

378
00:17:50,429 --> 00:17:52,422
I do, I do.

379
00:17:52,423 --> 00:17:54,530
- Cool.
- Yep, cool.

380
00:18:02,663 --> 00:18:03,544
[grunts]

381
00:18:03,545 --> 00:18:05,645
- Oh!
- Oh, my God.

382
00:18:09,324 --> 00:18:10,939
You ever talk to her again,

383
00:18:10,974 --> 00:18:13,894
I'll kill you, donkey Dick.

384
00:18:13,929 --> 00:18:15,626
[exhales sharply]

385
00:18:18,367 --> 00:18:20,176
Dude, are u okay?

386
00:18:20,211 --> 00:18:22,415
Of course he's not okay,
asshole!

387
00:18:22,450 --> 00:18:23,725
Oh, man.

388
00:18:25,293 --> 00:18:26,492
Oh, man.

389
00:18:26,527 --> 00:18:28,229
Come on.
Let's bounce, man.

390
00:18:29,309 --> 00:18:31,527
- Ow.
- Ugh.

391
00:18:37,250 --> 00:18:38,973
[breathing heavily]

392
00:18:40,089 --> 00:18:41,395
No.

393
00:18:43,117 --> 00:18:44,740
RJ, don't!

394
00:18:51,024 --> 00:18:52,300
Hell you doing talking
to that guy?

395
00:18:52,335 --> 00:18:53,793
Are you trying to embarrass me?

396
00:18:53,828 --> 00:18:55,165
I mean, the kid's a freak.

397
00:18:55,913 --> 00:18:57,439
What the [bleep] do you want?

398
00:18:59,326 --> 00:19:00,726
[zipper unzips]

399
00:19:01,998 --> 00:19:03,947
Oh!

400
00:19:06,777 --> 00:19:09,205
[crowd gasps]

401
00:19:11,639 --> 00:19:15,802
That's how a man smells,
bitch.

402
00:19:15,837 --> 00:19:17,711
[laughter]

403
00:19:20,120 --> 00:19:21,959
I'll email you tomorrow.

404
00:19:30,927 --> 00:19:34,740
Dude, you just served
Max Owens a cup of nut musk!

405
00:19:34,741 --> 00:19:35,440
I know.

406
00:19:35,441 --> 00:19:37,465
You realize you're dead
Monday, right?

407
00:19:37,466 --> 00:19:38,766
Yeah.

408
00:19:40,178 --> 00:19:41,917
But that's Monday.

409
00:19:42,820 --> 00:19:43,795
Yeah.

410
00:19:43,796 --> 00:19:45,098
[laughter]

411
00:19:45,753 --> 00:19:48,039
My name is RJ Berger.

412
00:19:48,312 --> 00:19:51,542
Nature made me scrawny
and weird-looking,

413
00:19:51,577 --> 00:19:54,059
Awkward and pale...

414
00:19:54,779 --> 00:19:56,928
But it also gave me a gift

415
00:19:57,001 --> 00:19:59,089
And I intend to use it.

416
00:19:59,289 --> 00:20:09,489
Sync by deGroote

9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00